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YourProfile
Name: Mario Van Heerden
Birthday: 17 Maart 1984
Star sign: Pisces
Occupation: Fasion Designer - Pearl Oyster
When I look into the mirror every morning I think: WoW….. What a
mess? Nah
My favourite people in the world are: Lady Gaga , Tyra Banks ,
Celebs!
My favourite quote is: That's Hot Paris Hilton.
People makes me laugh.
The greatest lesson life has taught me so far is: Hard work pays
off…..
I'll do almost anything for: Food.
When I get stressed I am most likely to throw everything out a
window.
I want my tombstone to read: This is far from over…..
I wouldn't mind being stuck in an elevator with: Lady Gaga!
In three words I am: Super crazy entertaining.
If I had a million rand to spare I would: Go shopping with my
friends!
I live in Klerksdorp because: This is home.
The first thing I would save from a house fire is: My clothes
lol!
My nickname is: Marz
I love my job because: I can tell people what’s hot or not!
Back to Top
LIFE AND TIMES WITH COLLIN
Whose idea is it anyhow?
It's funny how one latches on to things. It doesn't only have to
be big or great things like going out to buy a house or a
motorcar. Maybe it was advertising seduction that led to the
purchase. Or good old-fashioned buyers itch. 'Die geld brand 'n
gat in sy sak', my late grandfather used to say. These items
leave capacious gaps in one's banking account, and often lead to
buyer's remorse later on. Still there comes a time when you need
to move to a new house your family is getting bigger. Or that
car is becoming unreliable it could leave you in the lurch far
from home.
People also latch onto smaller things as well buying a certain
line of perfume, or becoming obsessed with trying to make
friends with someone.
With the buying of the perfume its quite simple if you can
afford it, get it.
Trying to break into a new friendship is a little more exacting.
You need to tap into something somewhat deeper (some believe you
can buy friendship with money, you can't). Seneca, the famous
Roman thinker and writer said, 'Money never made anyone rich'.
You need that connect social status, intellect, similar
interests and so on, in order to create and make lasting
friendships.
Of late I have noticed (and latched onto) how people come up
with ideas and then proceed to keep them. I suppose the
phenomena has been around for a long time. Its just that I have
heard, 'But it was my idea', more than once over the last few
weeks. It doesn't matter whether it was to start a club; create
a recipe or give rise to an investment syndicate. There is the
same refrain, 'It was my idea'. These then mutate into, 'It's my
club'; it's my recipe and, 'It's my syndicate'.
Two words spring to mind with this kind of thinking and
behaviour: myopea and solipsis. The first is probably understood
by most and means shortsighted. However I am referring to
shortsighted in the figurative sense. The second word solipsis,
is less often used and refers to the philosophical theory that
only self exists or can be known.
I want to deal with both concepts as one. There is, to my mind,
a definite interplay between the two.
For the sake of expediency, let's look at starting a club. I
wake up one morning with this bright idea that I believe that we
should have a mayfly club. Why? Well because I believe that
mayflies are under threat and should they become extinct it
could have serious consequences for the food chain. I am on fire
with the idea, and share it with my wife. She frowns quizzically
she doesn't fly-fish and doesn't have the foggiest about
mayflies. But that doesn't deter me. I phone my fly-fishing
buddies and excitedly share my idea with them. 'Sure Collie,
lets meet informally and discuss it'.
So I prepare for this informal gathering. I get a venue. I draw
up the agenda. At the meeting I do all the talking and I suggest
that we start a club. 'What shall we call it? I ask? Again me,
'Why not call it The Great North West Endangered Mayfly Species
Club?' (In all humility I thought of this thought provoking and
catchy name before the meeting, but had to wait patiently for
the right moment to suggest it). Anyhow, that out of the way, I
suggest a constitution, a committee, our bankers . . . . . and
so on and so on.
What is wrong with the above scenario? Quite simply it's all
about me, my, I. But not to hurt my feelings, the guys go along
with it. Because they were not afforded an opportunity to buy
into the process from the outset, or were given joint ownership
the idea will fly for a while, and then die a slow death. And
then everybody shrugs their shoulders in disbelief, 'But Collie
it was such a good idea'. By this time, I am blaming everybody
else for the demise of the Great North West Endangered Mayfly
Species Club. Cant blame myself, now can I? Pride wont let me,
'Sweetheart, why couldn't they see that it was a great idea. So
much could have been achieved. I am not appreciated for what I
do.'
Maybe it was a great idea. Maybe it could have worked. But
because of my not letting others share in the ownership of the
idea, it died.
I am not referring to ideas that are capable of patent and enjoy
the protection of the law.
When you want to start a club or something along similar lines,
you have sell the idea to others. That, according to my
reckoning, implies a transfer of your idea to others. By them
buying into your idea, they obtain a shared degree of ownership.
You invariably need others to assist in the running of the club.
But I (we) want to maintain control. And therein lies the danger
and the threat. Not only to me, but to others as well. Subtle
discontent gives way to outright confrontation, where egos get
in the way and lifelong enmity, between otherwise good friends,
now pervades the landscape.
This curse of control seems to stem from some deep-seated fear
that if we aren't in control, that somehow or other we are
deficient in some way. This mindset leads to loneliness and
rejection.
Some years ago I was listening to a psychologist talking on the
radio about fear and how we cover-up our fears through control.
She used a simple example: before buying your next pair of
shoes, plan to give an old pair away. Think about it it's not
the buying of the new shoes that is the issue. It's the giving
away of the old pair that's the problem. And at the heart of the
problem is the loss, or perceived loss, of control by giving
something away. Possibly by giving something away, we are giving
something of ourselves away. Bette Middler voices it so
fittingly in The Rose, 'it's the soul afraid of dying, that
never learns to live'.
Until and unless we learn the art of giving of ourselves to
others, great ideas will end up on the ash-heap of lost dreams
and society will be that much poorer for it. Do we not have a
duty to give to others? How else can society progress? How else
can the world, which is all we have, move forward?
So, again, one morning I wake up with this great idea on how to
protect mayflies. I decide to share this idea with others and
let them buy in. The idea is no longer mine, but ours. We all
more forward, and we all benefit.
Who knows, for my efforts, maybe a mayfly will get named after
me. Nice, but not important. Talking about that, do we really
need monuments to ourselves. I remember my mom taking us for
picnics in the Cape Town Gardens. The place was (is) spiked with
monuments and statues. We were quite small, but something always
enthused my curiosity why did the pigeons have to always sit,
and do their thing, on the poor guy's [the statue's] head? Do
pigeons know something that we don't? Something to mull over.
Chat again next week. |
